I have a lot of issues with too many things on my plate. I say NO a lot, but there is alway ONE more person asking an hour later. How do you say no without feeling guilty?

This is such a tough one for most women.

Here's a general method that might help.

Start with a statement of empathy and appreciation for the person making a request.

Then practice the following steps after saying NO:

1. No apologies
2. No buts
3. Lots of love

Let's hear other ideas...

Hi Valerie:

My friend Vanessa taught me how to say "no" and didn't even realize it. When things got really hectic for her she would say, with a smile on her face..."OH, that sounds like fun, or I would love to help you move this weekend, or I would love to get you lunch, but....I JUST CAN'T COMMIT, I can't commit to anything more right now until I finish all of my to dos or I'm not going to be able to do anything for anybody because my life will be in such a mess" = ) She always made you feel special and not rejected as her reasoning was so good.

Saying "no" is just about doing something for ourselves for once.

Good luck, it's really worked for me.

Stacy

Saying 'no' is always difficult and I've discovered that it is even more difficult when you work for yourself and are convinced that this is the last offer of work you will ever get

First of all, remember that it's always good for people to know that you are busy. It gives the impression that you are in demand because you have valuable skills. Second, it's always worthwhile seeing if there is some room for negotiation if it's something you would like to help with. I was recently offered an editing project (a music psychology book) that I really wanted to do, but couldn't possibly fit in at the time. I explained this to my client and told her when I would be able to fit the work in.

A day later she called me to say that she had rescheduled the production date for the book so that I could edit it.

So, it's always worth discussion/negotiation to see if you can find a win-win solution.

Sarah