Tammy

Jun 8, 08 - 8:44 AM

MiMi

Sorry sweetie. Email me if you like. Sorry too lazy and tired to look for your email right now but just wanted to give you a quick shout and let you know I was thinking of you. I wish you hadn't posted that as I am afraid it's going to get ugly later on in the day or tomorrow. Something you don't need now.

You better go and act a fool. I don't mean act a fool on him either. lol Act a fool and have your best trip yet. Nothing more envigorating or revitalizing than to take a trip, feel beautiful, Laugh, meet new people, travel in different circles, see new spots with new faces, and look up old friends you might have lost touch with lately. ;) Dam I'm jealous of this trip.

wendy

Jun 8th, 2008 - 9:07 AM

Re: MiMi

mimi...sorry bout tings. so how did this other woman know how to get in contact with ?

likkle red

Jun 8th, 2008 - 9:54 AM

Re: MiMi

the other woman has come out over on Negril.com..believe her name is Katie or something. ANyhoooo best to know then to be blind to the fact. Now Mimi can make her decisions and not always have this doubt in the back of her mind.

Safe travels Mimi and see youon the other side girl!

Suz

Jun 8th, 2008 - 11:11 AM

Re: MiMi

Mimi, so sorry to hear that - and sorry for the other woman as well. If I were in your shoes, I would be grateful that she contacted you - because neither of you will probably get the truth from the man. I went through a similar situation with my ex (not Jamaican) - Ironically, the other woman and I still keep in touch - had we met under any other circumstances, we probably would have been the best of friends. I think that we helped each other to get closure and deal with the situation.

No matter how you find out, it's never easy - enjoy your trip, have faith in yourself, and if you need to chat, please feel free to link me!

mimi

Jun 8th, 2008 - 1:45 PM

Re: MiMi

thanks, everyone. you see I actually have one of those "new" posters who actually spoke of you tammy!

wonder who it is.... can't wait to see you LR!

And I am going to be just fine!

wendy

Jun 8th, 2008 - 5:50 PM

Re: Re: MiMi

"NEW" poster....i don't think so mimi. she has numerous names.
i'm just worried when OT reads this post we are going to get an ear full. so be kind OT.

likkle red

Jun 8th, 2008 - 2:01 PM

Re: MiMi

"and I'm gonna be just fine"

something told me this along time ago when you first posted over here about your engagement..no matter what the outcome was gonna be.

hang in there and see you in just a few days!

Sophie

Jun 8th, 2008 - 2:32 PM

Re: MiMi

Hi Mimi,

I've been reading all the posts on the other board after you posted the photograph - no I dont know him - but I didnt want to post over there. I just wanted you to know that you have helped me - I came back from Negril 5 weeks ago having finished a relationship there. But he has been calling me - I didnt answer until today. I was thinking of giving him another chance but now I know that it will never work. I deserve better and so do you - you seem like such a kind person, although maybe a little vulnerable at the moment? I used to work a 12 step program and I was always told "Do whatever you have to do to get through a tough time as long as you don't hurt anyone else. Be kind to yourself" Sorry if this is a bit long. Have a wonderful trip Mimi.

Lola

Jun 8th, 2008 - 4:44 PM

Re: MiMi

Mimi, I'm SOOOOO glad this happened before you went to Jamaica. Now you won't be wasting your time, energy and emotions on your vacation. Its all yours girl! It sounds like Robert picks good women (a blessing for you in this situation), he just doesn't know how to perform at their level.

Have fun, hope you don't have to cut it short for Grandma's sake and its nice to know your brother is looking out for you. You know we'll be thinking of you, so if you have the chance let us know how you're doing.

Nikki

Jun 8th, 2008 - 5:44 PM

Re: MiMi

And I am going to be just fine!

Yes you will!....Just Fine by Mary J Blige may become your new anthem!

mimi

Jun 8th, 2008 - 6:39 PM

Re: MiMi

Wendy, OT, don't worry I am a big woman, I can take it!!!

Funny though, the other lady has called me a few times today?

Lola

Jun 8th, 2008 - 7:57 PM

Re: MiMi

Hmmm, what she sayin'? (being nosey)

wendy

Jun 8th, 2008 - 8:48 PM

Re: Re: MiMi

ha..nosey here too.

mimi

Jun 8th, 2008 - 9:37 PM

Re: MiMi

boy, just checked back and they are really crucifying me for that post..... oh dear..... guess I am the only one right??

Goodnight, try to post from JA but I'm not bringing the laptop..... don't feel like getting another one stolen!

And yes we are talking of the lady who cut ties with Robert..... but still coming back to JA, are the bets on that the relationship will rekindle?

Tammy

Jun 8th, 2008 - 9:59 PM

Re: MiMi

Whoa ... spoke of me? Now you need to tell me about that as I have no clue who kk is and I do not know Robert. I have seen him around Negril .. face familiar but I do not know him unless this is one of those alzheimers (sp?) moments? Maybe I know someone out of this story but I have no clue if I do or not beings I have seen no manes or faces other than yours and Roberts. So fill me/us in on how my name came up.

Tammy

Jun 8th, 2008 - 10:16 PM

Re: MiMi

OK just read "couldtoldu"

Now who the hell is that which has no guts to use their own name and think they know anything about me and mine. Oh and since they know so much why don't they just spill it as I don't think I even know what they might be referring to since mine has not been caught doing anyone or anything by me and I sure have not recieved any calls. Gyal just as ignorant as always.

mimi

Jun 8th, 2008 - 11:21 PM

Re: MiMi

have no idea, but thinking they read your board????

Tammy

Jun 9th, 2008 - 12:06 AM

Re: MiMi

I knew the thread on N.com was going to get ugly and it will get shutdown because it is going to get a lot uglier tomorrow. There are a lot more truer people over there these days but the ugly still hangout.
Again I wish you hadn't posted because whether you want to allow it to get to you or not I know it will and it hurts to think these people "were" your friends. As Smith has always said "Friend = Verb". Of course the way he puts it is a lot cuter.

louise

Jun 9th, 2008 - 1:22 AM

Re: MiMi

Mimi,
wishing you the best trip ever, focus on the positive, cry, laugh, feel the pain, the love, the joy, the surprises and be open to the magic healing powers jamaica will surely offer you.
bless

Suz

Jun 9th, 2008 - 6:57 AM

Re: MiMi

Sophie, welcome over and sorry to hear of your situation - it's tough to make the choice to end the relationship no matter where it is -

I haven't posted in the thread on Negril.com, because I knew it was going to head where it has, and it will only get worse. There are so many naysayers out there - and the amazing thing is that they will big up the ones who post about their relationship from the good side only and not share the negative side, but then bash someone for being honest -

I have been the whole fiance route with someone from another country - it didn't end well, but not because he was using me - Money never entered the equation -he was a cheat, plain and simple - Something I could have found anywhere in the world. My friend has been married for 19 years to an American - and recently found out he was having an affair for the past 3, and cheating left and right - She makes more money than him - is she in the wrong or should she be bashed for his actions? It really sickens me -

Especially when you see these people who talk about all their great JA friends, and then immediately are the first to lump all JA under the category of looking to get off the rock, looking for their meal ticket, etc...

After my experience, I SWORE that I would never do an LDR again - But, here I am - I don't talk much about my personal stuff, and especially not post it on Negril.com because I know where it goes - But I have been involved with a man in JA since January - There is such a connection there that I couldn't turn my back on the chance. I met a few boardies on my last trip, and think that they could vouch for the validity of our relationship. I am sure that some people would look at it and try to tell me I am being scammed, being used, whatever - However, I have made 3 trips so far - My second trip, he paid for my ticket. This trip, I wanted to spend in Negril, so I booked the hotel. However, that is where my spending stopped - he paid the rest of our expenses. So, based on the fact that he lives in another country, I should turn my back on the fact that I have found someone who makes me truly happy?

Being in any relationship is not easy - being separated in different countries makes it that much harder - but not impossible. I have seen too many relationships that work not to take the chance. There are scammers in JA - but there are scammers everywhere in the world - Opening yourself up to love someone is also opening yourself up to the possibility of being hurt, regardless of the situation - but if you aren't willing to open yourself, then you will miss out on a lot in life.

ray

Jun 12th, 2008 - 2:51 PM

Re: MiMi

hmmm- this is the way i see it - you hang your heart out there...if you get screwed over, it says more about the other person than it says about you...it is better to try than not try at all..so long as you do not get hurt financially or physically, you will get over it and meet someone else...whoever thinks that you are going to meet mr or mrs right on the first try is probably not going to be a very happy camper. and what one decides to do in a situation is their business and whatever anyone else has to say does not matter becasue we deal in the emotional realm in relationships and what may make sense to one person, may not make sense to another. people should keep their trap shut. there are 8 Billion people out there and they cannot all be perfect..but there has to be a hell of a lot of good ones.

as for n.com - well, there seems to have been a severe lack of respect over there for a long time - too many people. When someone says the tough things, or shares a not so happy expoerience - they are crucified...been there and done that...but again, that says more about them than you. don't let em wear you down..in fact do not even give the means ones a second thought.

NotSurprised

Jun 12th, 2008 - 4:24 PM

Robert

I for one am so impressed with your post Mimi! I think anyone who treats other people in this way should have all their stuff out in the open so people can really see what type of person they are. It amazes me every single day of my life how people can treat one another. Maybe Robert will feel a little bit of the pain he has caused others now that his cover is blown.

I have known Robert for a few years. Today I sit here and feel saddened by the feeling of being played to some extent. Yet I am also feeling enlightened and affirmed.. that my inner feelings and thoughts were spot on about his sincerity and honesty, and gloating a bit that I wasn't more involved (yeah for me and listening to myself!). I feel very strongly about a few things.. I don't trust most people in Jamaica (especially men).. I don't have enough experience in Jamaica.. I don't live in Jamaica so why would I want to have a relationship with someone in a different place? Again, it is very affirming to know that you suspect something all along & to have it all come out. I hope Mimi and all these other women that Robert was playing do not hurt too much, lose too much, and have the strength to walk away from it.

Robert is one smooth talker. I always thought it was strange some of the things he would say that I felt were really out of place or inappropriate. As we became friends I always thought it was suspicious his schedule and not wanting to meet in certain places or hang out in certain places. And since we were only friends I found it highly annoying as well and made very little time for it all. I wonder if Mimi or KK or which of these women are the ones he told me stories about. I wonder who got him that cell phone he wanted. I wondered about his finger pointing and honesty and behaviours relating to his job. I wonder who has afforded him the position to be out of work but now surprisingly have a car. I wonder, wonder, wonder. Well, good thing for him, he'll always have 'mommy'. Oh, and for the curious ones, there is nothing to talk about in matters below the belt. I am surprised that wasn't enough to send these gals walking the other direction.

Tammy

Jun 13th, 2008 - 2:35 PM

Re: MiMi

Nice post

Welcome to Jamericans Not surprised

Lola

Jun 13th, 2008 - 3:09 PM

Re: MiMi

Yes, welcome NotSurprised. Am I interpreting this correctly, "only friends" means having sex and not intending a deeper relationship? I thought being friends meant someone you don't sleep with. Hope I haven't been giving the wrong impression to/about my friends that I - well - that I'm not sleeping with. Because I really couldn't say what my friends have or don't have going on below the belt.

Suz

Jun 14th, 2008 - 8:16 AM

Re: MiMi

Lola, it sounds like the correct term would have been "friends with benefits"

NotSurprised

Jun 14th, 2008 - 12:05 PM

Re: MiMi

No, you are not interpreting it correctly. We were not having sex and I WAS exploring the possibility of a deeper relationship. My interest was not in something physical, but something more. My choice was to explore the connection and see what the potential was over time and it always felt that I did not trust him, or believe what he was saying, and I felt that time would tell, and it certainly has. When, time after time, and over an extended period of time, he did not seem comfortable with or proactive in being together 'publicly' (going out, at work, dining out, etc.), even as friends, it was a big red flag and strengthened my inner feeling of distrust. I thought, ok, if this person does not want to be together publicly, as to make a statement that he is interested in pursuing or having some level of a relationship as friends or entering a relationship, there is something else going on here. Either he is bs'g or using me, or he's involved with other people. His behavior behind closed doors or out of the public eye, his phone conversations and texts, our private conversations IN public or in private, etc., were saying the opposite.

Lola

Jun 15th, 2008 - 2:25 PM

Re: MiMi

Still curious how you know what he has in his pants but I guess you don't want to tell, hee hee....

Yes, I get all the rest that you are saying. "Woman's Intuition" would probably get a better rap if it was just called INTUITION!

NotSurprised

Jun 15th, 2008 - 2:58 PM

Re: MiMi

Is that really the point? I choose not to put every bit of my personal/private relationship with Robert here.

That topic aside, I will say that it is not only in that experience, but in nearly every experience in Jamaica I have felt similar feelings. That I am seen as a $ sign, a tourist, someone from whom someone can get something. I expect and desire for people to see who I am, as a person, etc, and be interested in that, or not. (Not just in Jamaica but anywhere) I am not talking in general daily passing, business encounters, etc. A perfect example, a question to each of you, how much does anyone in Jamaica know or ever ask about you or your life? I can think of only a few people over many, many years who have asked me anything about myself, about my life, about my thoughts/beliefs, about my interests, about my likes/dislikes, etc. To some extent it is likely cultural. To me, some or all of these things are a vital part of getting to know a person, whether your intent is social, friendship, romance, familial, whatever it is. In any situation, here, there or anywhere, when a persons interest in me lies only in the physical or financial, and not at all the mental, emotional, spiritual or other aspects, it is my signal to walk on by.

bozz

Jun 15th, 2008 - 3:25 PM

Re: MiMi

not surprised....jamaicans are not trusting people and i get that...it takes a long time to build trust...but once jamaicans trust you they will share their life and are truly interested in yours...when i see tourist in my home touristy town i see $ signs as well...i hope they will help the economy as well as reduce my taxes....many jamaicans distrust tourists as they have by many been treated like second class, so to speak...i love jamaican people...they have much to teach our first world countries....trust must be earned...it is a two way street...hopefully you will meet some jamaicans who are not on the tourist hustle and see the difference....peace

Tammy

Jun 16th, 2008 - 12:17 AM

Re: MiMi

I hear exactly what you are saying Not Surprised and I agree as most could care less what your life is like and what you have been through to get where you are. Not everyone is your friend or are anyone's friend for that matter but there are some that do care and are very interested in you. I don't think you will meet many of them on Negril Beach however especially if they are men working in that area and making you thier meal ticket.

Author	Comment
Tammy Jun 8, 08 - 8:44 AM	MiMi Sorry sweetie. Email me if you like. Sorry too lazy and tired to look for your email right now but just wanted to give you a quick shout and let you know I was thinking of you. I wish you hadn't posted that as I am afraid it's going to get ugly later on in the day or tomorrow. Something you don't need now. You better go and act a fool. I don't mean act a fool on him either. lol Act a fool and have your best trip yet. Nothing more envigorating or revitalizing than to take a trip, feel beautiful, Laugh, meet new people, travel in different circles, see new spots with new faces, and look up old friends you might have lost touch with lately. ;) Dam I'm jealous of this trip.
wendy Jun 8th, 2008 - 9:07 AM	Re: MiMi mimi...sorry bout tings. so how did this other woman know how to get in contact with ? Email: wao58@aol.com
likkle red Jun 8th, 2008 - 9:54 AM	Re: MiMi the other woman has come out over on Negril.com..believe her name is Katie or something. ANyhoooo best to know then to be blind to the fact. Now Mimi can make her decisions and not always have this doubt in the back of her mind. Safe travels Mimi and see youon the other side girl!
Suz Jun 8th, 2008 - 11:11 AM	Re: MiMi Mimi, so sorry to hear that - and sorry for the other woman as well. If I were in your shoes, I would be grateful that she contacted you - because neither of you will probably get the truth from the man. I went through a similar situation with my ex (not Jamaican) - Ironically, the other woman and I still keep in touch - had we met under any other circumstances, we probably would have been the best of friends. I think that we helped each other to get closure and deal with the situation. No matter how you find out, it's never easy - enjoy your trip, have faith in yourself, and if you need to chat, please feel free to link me!
mimi Jun 8th, 2008 - 1:45 PM	Re: MiMi thanks, everyone. you see I actually have one of those "new" posters who actually spoke of you tammy! wonder who it is.... can't wait to see you LR! And I am going to be just fine! Email: monsus@aol.com
wendy Jun 8th, 2008 - 5:50 PM	Re: Re: MiMi "NEW" poster....i don't think so mimi. she has numerous names. i'm just worried when OT reads this post we are going to get an ear full. so be kind OT. Email: wao58@aol.com
likkle red Jun 8th, 2008 - 2:01 PM	Re: MiMi "and I'm gonna be just fine" something told me this along time ago when you first posted over here about your engagement..no matter what the outcome was gonna be. hang in there and see you in just a few days!
Sophie Jun 8th, 2008 - 2:32 PM	Re: MiMi Hi Mimi, I've been reading all the posts on the other board after you posted the photograph - no I dont know him - but I didnt want to post over there. I just wanted you to know that you have helped me - I came back from Negril 5 weeks ago having finished a relationship there. But he has been calling me - I didnt answer until today. I was thinking of giving him another chance but now I know that it will never work. I deserve better and so do you - you seem like such a kind person, although maybe a little vulnerable at the moment? I used to work a 12 step program and I was always told "Do whatever you have to do to get through a tough time as long as you don't hurt anyone else. Be kind to yourself" Sorry if this is a bit long. Have a wonderful trip Mimi. Email: linda_leftwich@hotmail.com
Lola Jun 8th, 2008 - 4:44 PM	Re: MiMi Mimi, I'm SOOOOO glad this happened before you went to Jamaica. Now you won't be wasting your time, energy and emotions on your vacation. Its all yours girl! It sounds like Robert picks good women (a blessing for you in this situation), he just doesn't know how to perform at their level. Have fun, hope you don't have to cut it short for Grandma's sake and its nice to know your brother is looking out for you. You know we'll be thinking of you, so if you have the chance let us know how you're doing.
Nikki Jun 8th, 2008 - 5:44 PM	Re: MiMi And I am going to be just fine! Yes you will!....Just Fine by Mary J Blige may become your new anthem! Email: nikball@gmail.com
mimi Jun 8th, 2008 - 6:39 PM	Re: MiMi Wendy, OT, don't worry I am a big woman, I can take it!!! Funny though, the other lady has called me a few times today? Email: monsus@aol.com
Lola Jun 8th, 2008 - 7:57 PM	Re: MiMi Hmmm, what she sayin'? (being nosey)
wendy Jun 8th, 2008 - 8:48 PM	Re: Re: MiMi ha..nosey here too. Email: wao58@aol.com
mimi Jun 8th, 2008 - 9:37 PM	Re: MiMi boy, just checked back and they are really crucifying me for that post..... oh dear..... guess I am the only one right?? Goodnight, try to post from JA but I'm not bringing the laptop..... don't feel like getting another one stolen! And yes we are talking of the lady who cut ties with Robert..... but still coming back to JA, are the bets on that the relationship will rekindle? Email: monsus@aol.com
Tammy Jun 8th, 2008 - 9:59 PM	Re: MiMi Whoa ... spoke of me? Now you need to tell me about that as I have no clue who kk is and I do not know Robert. I have seen him around Negril .. face familiar but I do not know him unless this is one of those alzheimers (sp?) moments? Maybe I know someone out of this story but I have no clue if I do or not beings I have seen no manes or faces other than yours and Roberts. So fill me/us in on how my name came up.
Tammy Jun 8th, 2008 - 10:16 PM	Re: MiMi OK just read "couldtoldu" Now who the hell is that which has no guts to use their own name and think they know anything about me and mine. Oh and since they know so much why don't they just spill it as I don't think I even know what they might be referring to since mine has not been caught doing anyone or anything by me and I sure have not recieved any calls. Gyal just as ignorant as always.
mimi Jun 8th, 2008 - 11:21 PM	Re: MiMi have no idea, but thinking they read your board???? Email: monsus@aol.com
Tammy Jun 9th, 2008 - 12:06 AM	Re: MiMi I knew the thread on N.com was going to get ugly and it will get shutdown because it is going to get a lot uglier tomorrow. There are a lot more truer people over there these days but the ugly still hangout. Again I wish you hadn't posted because whether you want to allow it to get to you or not I know it will and it hurts to think these people "were" your friends. As Smith has always said "Friend = Verb". Of course the way he puts it is a lot cuter.
louise Jun 9th, 2008 - 1:22 AM	Re: MiMi Mimi, wishing you the best trip ever, focus on the positive, cry, laugh, feel the pain, the love, the joy, the surprises and be open to the magic healing powers jamaica will surely offer you. bless
Suz Jun 9th, 2008 - 6:57 AM	Re: MiMi Sophie, welcome over and sorry to hear of your situation - it's tough to make the choice to end the relationship no matter where it is - I haven't posted in the thread on Negril.com, because I knew it was going to head where it has, and it will only get worse. There are so many naysayers out there - and the amazing thing is that they will big up the ones who post about their relationship from the good side only and not share the negative side, but then bash someone for being honest - I have been the whole fiance route with someone from another country - it didn't end well, but not because he was using me - Money never entered the equation -he was a cheat, plain and simple - Something I could have found anywhere in the world. My friend has been married for 19 years to an American - and recently found out he was having an affair for the past 3, and cheating left and right - She makes more money than him - is she in the wrong or should she be bashed for his actions? It really sickens me - Especially when you see these people who talk about all their great JA friends, and then immediately are the first to lump all JA under the category of looking to get off the rock, looking for their meal ticket, etc... After my experience, I SWORE that I would never do an LDR again - But, here I am - I don't talk much about my personal stuff, and especially not post it on Negril.com because I know where it goes - But I have been involved with a man in JA since January - There is such a connection there that I couldn't turn my back on the chance. I met a few boardies on my last trip, and think that they could vouch for the validity of our relationship. I am sure that some people would look at it and try to tell me I am being scammed, being used, whatever - However, I have made 3 trips so far - My second trip, he paid for my ticket. This trip, I wanted to spend in Negril, so I booked the hotel. However, that is where my spending stopped - he paid the rest of our expenses. So, based on the fact that he lives in another country, I should turn my back on the fact that I have found someone who makes me truly happy? Being in any relationship is not easy - being separated in different countries makes it that much harder - but not impossible. I have seen too many relationships that work not to take the chance. There are scammers in JA - but there are scammers everywhere in the world - Opening yourself up to love someone is also opening yourself up to the possibility of being hurt, regardless of the situation - but if you aren't willing to open yourself, then you will miss out on a lot in life.
ray Jun 12th, 2008 - 2:51 PM	Re: MiMi hmmm- this is the way i see it - you hang your heart out there...if you get screwed over, it says more about the other person than it says about you...it is better to try than not try at all..so long as you do not get hurt financially or physically, you will get over it and meet someone else...whoever thinks that you are going to meet mr or mrs right on the first try is probably not going to be a very happy camper. and what one decides to do in a situation is their business and whatever anyone else has to say does not matter becasue we deal in the emotional realm in relationships and what may make sense to one person, may not make sense to another. people should keep their trap shut. there are 8 Billion people out there and they cannot all be perfect..but there has to be a hell of a lot of good ones. as for n.com - well, there seems to have been a severe lack of respect over there for a long time - too many people. When someone says the tough things, or shares a not so happy expoerience - they are crucified...been there and done that...but again, that says more about them than you. don't let em wear you down..in fact do not even give the means ones a second thought. Email: raymonddoug10@aol.com
NotSurprised Jun 12th, 2008 - 4:24 PM	Robert I for one am so impressed with your post Mimi! I think anyone who treats other people in this way should have all their stuff out in the open so people can really see what type of person they are. It amazes me every single day of my life how people can treat one another. Maybe Robert will feel a little bit of the pain he has caused others now that his cover is blown. I have known Robert for a few years. Today I sit here and feel saddened by the feeling of being played to some extent. Yet I am also feeling enlightened and affirmed.. that my inner feelings and thoughts were spot on about his sincerity and honesty, and gloating a bit that I wasn't more involved (yeah for me and listening to myself!). I feel very strongly about a few things.. I don't trust most people in Jamaica (especially men).. I don't have enough experience in Jamaica.. I don't live in Jamaica so why would I want to have a relationship with someone in a different place? Again, it is very affirming to know that you suspect something all along & to have it all come out. I hope Mimi and all these other women that Robert was playing do not hurt too much, lose too much, and have the strength to walk away from it. Robert is one smooth talker. I always thought it was strange some of the things he would say that I felt were really out of place or inappropriate. As we became friends I always thought it was suspicious his schedule and not wanting to meet in certain places or hang out in certain places. And since we were only friends I found it highly annoying as well and made very little time for it all. I wonder if Mimi or KK or which of these women are the ones he told me stories about. I wonder who got him that cell phone he wanted. I wondered about his finger pointing and honesty and behaviours relating to his job. I wonder who has afforded him the position to be out of work but now surprisingly have a car. I wonder, wonder, wonder. Well, good thing for him, he'll always have 'mommy'. Oh, and for the curious ones, there is nothing to talk about in matters below the belt. I am surprised that wasn't enough to send these gals walking the other direction.
Tammy Jun 13th, 2008 - 2:35 PM	Re: MiMi Nice post Welcome to Jamericans Not surprised
Lola Jun 13th, 2008 - 3:09 PM	Re: MiMi Yes, welcome NotSurprised. Am I interpreting this correctly, "only friends" means having sex and not intending a deeper relationship? I thought being friends meant someone you don't sleep with. Hope I haven't been giving the wrong impression to/about my friends that I - well - that I'm not sleeping with. Because I really couldn't say what my friends have or don't have going on below the belt.
Suz Jun 14th, 2008 - 8:16 AM	Re: MiMi Lola, it sounds like the correct term would have been "friends with benefits"
NotSurprised Jun 14th, 2008 - 12:05 PM	Re: MiMi No, you are not interpreting it correctly. We were not having sex and I WAS exploring the possibility of a deeper relationship. My interest was not in something physical, but something more. My choice was to explore the connection and see what the potential was over time and it always felt that I did not trust him, or believe what he was saying, and I felt that time would tell, and it certainly has. When, time after time, and over an extended period of time, he did not seem comfortable with or proactive in being together 'publicly' (going out, at work, dining out, etc.), even as friends, it was a big red flag and strengthened my inner feeling of distrust. I thought, ok, if this person does not want to be together publicly, as to make a statement that he is interested in pursuing or having some level of a relationship as friends or entering a relationship, there is something else going on here. Either he is bs'g or using me, or he's involved with other people. His behavior behind closed doors or out of the public eye, his phone conversations and texts, our private conversations IN public or in private, etc., were saying the opposite.
Lola Jun 15th, 2008 - 2:25 PM	Re: MiMi Still curious how you know what he has in his pants but I guess you don't want to tell, hee hee.... Yes, I get all the rest that you are saying. "Woman's Intuition" would probably get a better rap if it was just called INTUITION!
NotSurprised Jun 15th, 2008 - 2:58 PM	Re: MiMi Is that really the point? I choose not to put every bit of my personal/private relationship with Robert here. That topic aside, I will say that it is not only in that experience, but in nearly every experience in Jamaica I have felt similar feelings. That I am seen as a $ sign, a tourist, someone from whom someone can get something. I expect and desire for people to see who I am, as a person, etc, and be interested in that, or not. (Not just in Jamaica but anywhere) I am not talking in general daily passing, business encounters, etc. A perfect example, a question to each of you, how much does anyone in Jamaica know or ever ask about you or your life? I can think of only a few people over many, many years who have asked me anything about myself, about my life, about my thoughts/beliefs, about my interests, about my likes/dislikes, etc. To some extent it is likely cultural. To me, some or all of these things are a vital part of getting to know a person, whether your intent is social, friendship, romance, familial, whatever it is. In any situation, here, there or anywhere, when a persons interest in me lies only in the physical or financial, and not at all the mental, emotional, spiritual or other aspects, it is my signal to walk on by.
bozz Jun 15th, 2008 - 3:25 PM	Re: MiMi not surprised....jamaicans are not trusting people and i get that...it takes a long time to build trust...but once jamaicans trust you they will share their life and are truly interested in yours...when i see tourist in my home touristy town i see $ signs as well...i hope they will help the economy as well as reduce my taxes....many jamaicans distrust tourists as they have by many been treated like second class, so to speak...i love jamaican people...they have much to teach our first world countries....trust must be earned...it is a two way street...hopefully you will meet some jamaicans who are not on the tourist hustle and see the difference....peace
Tammy Jun 16th, 2008 - 12:17 AM	Re: MiMi I hear exactly what you are saying Not Surprised and I agree as most could care less what your life is like and what you have been through to get where you are. Not everyone is your friend or are anyone's friend for that matter but there are some that do care and are very interested in you. I don't think you will meet many of them on Negril Beach however especially if they are men working in that area and making you thier meal ticket.